This year’s summer season may have been the busiest, most
exhausting and most challenging summer I’ve ever experienced. For the past
summers, I always make sure that I will have at least one beach get-away with
my friends, but it never happened this year. Instead, I had been continuously
tapped by the Lord to do His work. And to start it off, our chapter had
assigned me to be the chapter servant for this year’s Christian Life Program
for Singles for Christ.
I’ve been serving in CLPs since I became a member of this
community 4 years ago but I’ve never felt nor experienced something like this. It
was a brand new experience for me, another first! Why? It was my first time to
serve as a chapter servant in a CLP, my first time not to handle any major role
in an SFC activity, my very first time to give a CLP talk in our chapter (that
was my most unforgettable talk yet :-) ), my first time to push my creativity to its limit, my first time to fully
understand the mission and vision of our community, and also my first time to
also grasp and embrace the true goal of the Christian Life Program: evangelize
and renew people in Christ. A lot of firsts on my 4th year as an SFC!
Talk about blessings in abundance! :-)
But hey, it was not an easy feat. I've come to realize that
even though you have a strong spirit in service, you still need to give your
body ample time to rest. Your will to serve won’t have any bearing if your gas tank
is near empty. An empowered heart burning with ardor in serving the Lord should
be matched with a body sufficiently rested.
At those times, I felt that my tank was almost empty. Yes, I
felt so much joy in serving Him during these times, but I also felt my physical
strength slowly escaping me. Along with the task I needed to fulfill during our
CLP, I was also struggling in my discernment about training as an MV. Then
you also need to think about your
family, your job, your messed-up body clock, how not to be late for work, the
concerns of your household members and your chapter. Lots of problems were
arising at that time and I felt the need to address them all but then I know I
couldn't solve everything alone. I thought I could, but then one friend
reminded me: “You are not a super hero.”
It is true that when we feel the Holy Spirit in our lives,
when we learn to embrace it and allow it to take charge, our life will change. A full 360-degree turn around. Our spirit will be empowered. But then again, we are not super heroes! Even God
took the seventh day as His rest day! I’ve realized that in order to sustain
your passion, you must always make sure that your tank is always full. I’ve
learned that the hard way.
I remembered feeling so tired and exhausted as we move into
the third module of the CLP. At that time I asked the Lord to just give me a
little time to finally rest my weary body. But since the CLP was still
on-going, I couldn't really take getting a break while my other brothers and
sisters continue to serve. And so again I asked the Lord to just let His will
be done… just one weekend of rest… and I will be alright.
And so I waited. I prayed and I waited. True enough, a week
after our Lord’s Day, He granted me an opportunity to go to Puerto Galera and
experience the pilot of Crossroads weekend retreat. Very timely for my
discernment! Not only that, I was also rewarded to savor the beautiful view of
a perfectly calm lake accessorized with yachts and small boats --- a view that
can be relished straight from our retreat house. The silent prayer hour
that was also given to us was a big help for me to listen to His voice, and His
message to me was perfectly clear: “I love you and I have great plans for you.
Just allow me to embrace your weary heart and let me fight for you. Patience,
my child, everything in my own perfect time.” Oh, if only my heart could leap
from the inside out! :D
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| View from the retreat house of Immaculate Conception Parish, Puerto Galera, Oriental Mindoro |
Friends, there are times when our burdens are too heavy to
carry. There are times that problems are like drops of rain, they come in small
and big drops, they pour continuously. There are times when it’s so hard to
trust in His plan for us because the pain is just too much for us. There are
more times when we question and doubt if He is really listening to our cries
because it feels like He is slow to respond. For me, it’s alright to feel these
things. It makes us human. But this is also the very reason why we need to keep
on clinging to whatever bough of hope we can hold on. These are the moments
when we need to remember how He remained faithful to us. These are the times
when we need to be more faithful to Him. Everything in this life is always a
test of faith… a test of our character as Christians… a test of our limitations
as humans. Our heart and our strength may fail repeatedly. But just when we
thought we have reached our limit, His abundant grace and love will start to
fill you again. Until you become whole again. Until you become brand new. Faith
is trusting and believing in His plan no matter how dark and uncertain the road
is ahead of you. Always remember, His love sustains. Forever. :-)
