For me, it had always been thunderstorms.
I would greatly fear thunderstorms as a little girl. When the sky began to grow dark and the rain started to pour, I would rush to close our windows, lock our doors and prepare the floor mats as rainwater tends to get into the threshold of our door. I don't know why I was worried, anxious and completely terrified when it rains. I would often imagine that God would allow the rain to pour nonstop to the extent that we would experience the great flood once again. I would worry about my Dad, my Mom, my younger sister and me. How could we survive if that happened? How could our house stay afloat? How could I save my Dad, Mom and younger sister from drowning (guess I was really an over thinker ever since 😁). Too many things for a little girl to handle. To ease my fears, my mom would remind me to just pray to Jesus through the rosary so the rain would go away. I did what I was told and miraculously, after praying the rosary, the rain would begin to fade until I could see the sun shining again! I remembered kissing the rosary pamphlet because I was soooo happy that Mama Mary helped me with my prayers to God! So every time it rains, I would always do the same routine and end up rejoicing because God didn't allow another great flood to happen again! 😂
Years passed. Life experiences kept happening one after another. I am not afraid of the rain anymore. Heck, I've already weathered several storms in my life. Along with that new-found courage, I lost my fervent desire to call upon the guidance of Mama Mary. Sure, I still pray the rosary, but unlike when I was a child, I lost that innocence that sought safety from one's fears... I'm not scared of the rain anymore so why would I religiously pray the rosary?
Then, COVID-19 happened. The pandemic that shook the entire world is still taking over year 2020. Plans were ruined, life came to a halt and the way we interacted with one another changed altogether. That silent fear of being sick of this virus, of being isolated from loved ones, is present in everyone's heart and mind. We have all the reasons to worry 'cause why not? We are fighting a highly-contagious and utterly invisible enemy. The war is far from over.
Being stuck in my apartment away from my family made me change my perspective about praying. My anxiety was at an all-time high. I appeared alright but deep inside I was anxious and struggling to control my emotions. Once again, I became that little girl who was greatly scared of thunderstorms only this time, I don't know when the thunderstorm will last. I resorted to praying the rosary, seeking the guidance of Mama Mary once again, asking her to intercede for us. I prayed not once, not twice, not thrice, but many times a day. I have never prayed the holy rosary this intense in my entire life. I thought I have already entrusted my life fully to the Lord... but COVID-19 made me realize that I haven't full entrusted everything to Him. I thought I knew everything about faith... but this pandemic thought me how to be more faithful as ever.
Just like how the Lord made the rain stopped every time I pray to Him as a little girl, I believe that with more prayers, more faith and more hope, He will soon end this pandemic. The little girl in me probably poked me straight to the heart, as if telling me, "Hey Love, To Jesus, Through Mary... remember?"
